Archive | 7:54 PM

My Various Illnesses

17 Oct

You all know that one person, the person who takes pride in their various diseases and injuries, and never misses an opportunity to tell you all about them, whether you ask or not. Their conversation always seem to take a turn for the worse, and they lament their soon-to-be untimely demise. The conversation usually goes something like this:

You: My mom makes the best chicken soup!

Sickly Person: I always eat chicken soup at this time of year, because I am always getting a cold… or pneumonia.

Y: That’s awful! But anyways, my mom always makes it with cute little stars.

SP: I used to love that type of soup, but now I can’t eat it because of my high cholesterol, which will kill me one of these days.

Y: …

Or at least, that’s been my experience in the matter of those people. And let me tell you, I am certainly not one of those people, but at a certain point you earn the right to talk about your amazing sicknesses, such as the 4 (!!!!) different illnesses I had within the space of a month. I feel sure I’ll be good for the next 2 or 3 years, because I used up my entire quota of illness for that time period.

Now I’m off to do some more make-up work for school, having fallen considerably behind,

xoxo, Harlow